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Posted by Melissa1143 on 11:41 PM

Trevor gave me a telescope for Christmas. This being a new hobby for me, he did a great job picking out the perfect telescope and even helped me assemble it today. I consider myself to be somewhat intelligent in that I can read Twilight without looking up the more difficult words. However, the directions on how to assemble my telescope were difficult to understand and used words I have never heard of. The first two sentences contained seven different words that I have never seen before. Trevor, who was definitely sharing my exasperation with the instructions, finally just started grabbing pieces. Trevor: (holds up piece) "This is now the Nebula T-bolt." (Grabs another piece) "and this is the Nebula stick." (points to box of parts) "and those are Nebula screws. Everything is now a Nebula something. Seriously, it will make this easier."

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You Go To Shit at 30

Posted by Melissa1143 on 11:23 PM

One of my closest friends has the unfortunate birth date of December 26th. Everyone forgets her birthday, including her parents. Seriously, nobody has time to celebrate a mini holiday the day after the granddaddy of holidays. But I have an alarm on my phone that goes off every year to remind me to call her so that at least I can sleep at night. Not that I would stay awake if I forgot since I wouldn't have known I forgot, right? Any who, this birthday was particularly hard as she turned 30. On top of the first of many crappy (you'll get that pun in a minute) milestone birthdays, she had spent all of Christmas throwing up with the flu and all of her birthday having it come out the other end (that's where the previous pun becomes funny). She literally woke up, rolled over, and crapped the bed. No warning, no control...just shit. Her comment on the whole event "I literally turned 30 and my body went to shit!"

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The Embarassment of Past Posts

Posted by Melissa1143 on 11:14 PM

Looking at some stats for my page through blogger and I noticed that someone had read this odd and very boring post. I'm sorry if you just clicked on that. What I actually found amusing is the three movies that "I'm definitely going to at least rent" I NEVER watched any of them. After their release, I thought they looked like movies where I would rather dig my eyes out with a plastic spork than actual watch them. And seriously, the worst one IS the one with Duane Johnson. That movie was released at the height of his I'm-going-to-do-these-retarded-children's-movies-like-Arnold-Schwazaneger. First off, you may have made some kickass movies (Run Down, Walking Tall), but you will never be as great as the Arnold. And secondly, that shitty movie does not even come close to Kindergarten Cop. "It's not a tumor!" So seriously, Duane, go back to action movies.

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Winter Storm Draco

Posted by Melissa1143 on 2:31 PM

Apparently the weather gods that be have decided that it was time to start naming winter storms the way that they name hurricanes. I'm not really sure if this is to make us northerners feel more included or to try and scare the crap out of everyone. Whatever the case, this storm is named Draco. I seriously hope they go with this and the other storms this winter are named Hermione, Weasley, Gryffindor, and Potter....it would make my year....

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Posted by Melissa1143 on 12:52 AM

While playing catch phrase with my in-laws and husband: Dawn -it's something you don't want to see on a man....
Me - a wedding ring!!!

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Keep Your Enemies Closer

Posted by Melissa1143 on 3:58 PM

I was told yesterday that "someone" should have kept his friends close and his enemies closer. I decided that this is one of the worst sayings to be used. I would rather surround myself with amazing, strong, intelligent and good people and fight the good fight then allow those with misguided motives and poor morals so close to me. I would rather lose knowing that I did what was right, then win because I manipulated those around me.

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Posted by Melissa1143 on 3:19 AM

Please stop telling me about your daddy issues. You have no idea.....

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