Did you ever hear something so retarded you couldn't even believe it came out of someone's mouth? This happened to me this morning. The radio talk show I listen to had two workers on the phone and was doing a job comparison. Jason worked for a municipality, Bob worked as a painter. Joe is the host.

Joe: When was the last time you smoked weed on the job?

Jason: last year

Bob: yesterday (which will explain his next answer)

Joe: Have you ever faked a religion to skip a day of work

Bob: yes

Joe: Which holiday did you take off - Good Friday?

Bob: No, President's Day


Bob, put down the weed. You seriously may have done some brain damage over the years. Or maybe it was all those times you didn't wear a mask and the paint fumes made it to your brain. I don't really know what happened to you, but I suppose as long as you can tell blue from yellow, then you're still okay, right?

Me: Ryan, you are so annoying
Ryan: Your face!
Me: Your mom!
Ryan: 7!
Me:......what?
Ryan: Ha! I win!

I'm tired of worrying about money and mortgages. Who is with me on that? Today is all about mindless entertainment. So forget about that depressing credit card debt and the money issues driving you crazy and enjoy six minutes of humor.

Angry and fuming about a friend of mine, my husband tried to calm me down. "Honey, look at it this way. Friends are like a pair of clean underwear, it's always nice to know you have one."

I came up with a great idea. Everyone is freaking out about how much it is going to cost us to do this stimulus package. Well, if you were watching yesterday while Obama signed it, you would have noticed that he used ten different pens. They're suppose to be used as memorabilia for those who helped create it. I have a better idea. Auction them off on Ebay. Who wouldn't want their own little chunk of history? This package could save the country - could you imagine what the pen it was signed with (by the first black president)would be worth? We could use the money to fund the plan. That chair he was sitting on? Ebay! What about the desk the stimulus plan was signed on? Ebay! The silly tie he was wearing? EBAY! Talk about stimulating the economy...this could work :)

I was doing my grocery shopping yesterday in Walmart. Walmart is the only place where no matter how backwoods and white trash you are, there is someone there who has you beat. While walking around in a desperate search for pineapple, I couldn't help but overhear two employees talking. Talking is an understatement. They were actually shouting to each other across the entire produce section. While slightly annoying to have one yelling in my ear asking the other about her tax return, I about died when I heard the response. With much glee and happiness in her voice, she yelled back, "My boyfriend is gonna buy me somethin' nice with the tax return." yup...yelled loud enough that even the people by the tomatoes heard her. So if you are feeling down with your crappy Valentine's day gift, or think you might be a little too white trash, take heart in the fact that you aren't this girl.

I find that it is better to spend at least a little money to do something fun, then to scrimp every penny and be bored out of my mind. Even though it is a recession, everyone needs a bit of fun right? We all went to the Professional Bull Riders (PBR) event in a nearby town. It was all of the spectacular bull-jumping, cowboy-tossing, and horrible junk-food-eating I had hoped it would be. If you have never been to one, you gotta go. By the way, that picture is mine. Don't rip it off or I will find you.