You Go To Shit at 30

One of my closest friends has the unfortunate birth date of December 26th. Everyone forgets her birthday, including her parents. Seriously, nobody has time to celebrate a mini holiday the day after the granddaddy of holidays. But I have an alarm on my phone that goes off every year to remind me to call her so that at least I can sleep at night. Not that I would stay awake if I forgot since I wouldn't have known I forgot, right? Any who, this birthday was particularly hard as she turned 30. On top of the first of many crappy (you'll get that pun in a minute) milestone birthdays, she had spent all of Christmas throwing up with the flu and all of her birthday having it come out the other end (that's where the previous pun becomes funny). She literally woke up, rolled over, and crapped the bed. No warning, no control...just shit. Her comment on the whole event "I literally turned 30 and my body went to shit!"