I was told yesterday that "someone" should have kept his friends close and his enemies closer. I decided that this is one of the worst sayings to be used. I would rather surround myself with amazing, strong, intelligent and good people and fight the good fight then allow those with misguided motives and poor morals so close to me. I would rather lose knowing that I did what was right, then win because I manipulated those around me.

Please stop telling me about your daddy issues. You have no idea.....

When did $3.81 become the gas price that made people think "wow, gas is cheap!"

While curled up on the couch together, my husband and I had the following conversation:

Me: Why is it called spooning?

Hubby: Probably because saying "I want to knife you" kills the mood.

My husband and I are adiment about not having children...at least for right now. We're mid 20s with a whole lot of beer with our names on it and we don't want a baby slowing down our liver killing. It's not that we hate kids, we're just realists. They're a lot of work and commitment and we're pretty damn lazy.
As of late I have been having some medical problems and finally got a call from the doc today stating that I have a bacteria...antibiotics, stat! So I told hubby that the doctor had called and after he asked what was wrong, I couldn't help but blurt out that I was pregnant. I might have well told him I had cancer. The look on his face, the panic in his voice...priceless. After calming his frazzled nerves with the truth, we started idlely chatting about babies:

Me: We do keep talking about kids, maybe that means we'll want to have them one day.

Hubby: Sugar, my friends and I talk about the HIV at work, that doesn't mean I want it.

Me: We've been playing the McDonald's Monopoly all week - entering the codes online and everything

Lisa: Yeah, Jake and I are doing that too. I told him I hope we win $100,000. But then I realized: Hell, I'd be happy with a free small fry.

Dear Sarah Jessica Parker,
I highly doubt that you use $7 box dye to color your hair. Most likely, you pay someone to do this at a price that is probably about the same as my mortgage payment. Please stop trying to pretend that you actually let this substance touch your hair and find something else to sellout to.

Sincerely,
Crapless Life